Image: New York Times
Marc & Amy are dedicated to sharing labor equally by bucking traditional, gendered devision of labor. An excellent and challenging move towards greater intimacy!
Happy fathers day to all you dads and granddads! Happy fathers day to father-to-be Thomas Beatie! And Happy Not-A-Father’s day to all you have opted to help slow the population increase. ;) In honor of the great dads who are striving to do this important task so well, I bring you some dad-positive news. And, really, what is more sex positive than having a great partner in life and child rearing? Studies show that in heterosexual relationships women love the men who are proactive and engaged when it comes to domestic duties. When your lover is as needy as your kids, the sex drive takes drop, right?! So for all those dads who go beyond that “helping out” attitude to full life partnership – keep up the good work and recruit your friends for the effort!
Pro-Dad Sex Positive News – After the Jump
Career Builder.com, through cnn.com, has reported that over 40% of dads who answered their survey who take a pay cut of 10% or more in order to spend more time with their families! In fact, nearly 40% of dads from dual-income families would prefer the unpaid labor of handling the home and being the primary raiser of children if they family could get by without their pay checks. And no wonder: nearly half of dads get less than 3 hours per week day with their kids, just under a quarter get under 2 hours, and 6% get an hour. Ouch! Career builder provides some tips for increasing that time. We appreciate your hard work, dads, and support your efforts to change the shape of employment for fathers everywhere! Need some inspiration for to demonstrate how sexy involved men are? Check out this book and this one.
NYTimes has gone even deeper into the effort for true shared caregiving between heterosexual parents to feature couples who are dedicated to true equal devision of labor, with all of the struggles and benefits that come with it. It’s a lengthy but worthwhile read and gave me quite a bit to think about when considering how to manage such a shift away from typical gendering of labor roles, including imbalances that I had not been aware of. In the beginning of the article, for example, they recall Amy’s first day back to work after maternity leave. After waking early to tend to her infant she handed Marc a to-do list, including feeding times, etc. Marc delicately yet firmly ripped it in half; she did not need to micromanage him because he was stepping up to task of coparenting (vs. being the babysitting dad). Impressive, on both their parts! To Marc and Amy, who are redefining family through their steady and brave efforts, thank you for your work and for sharing your approach to family with us.
And before I sign off for this post: Happy Father’s Day to my own dad. I’m very fortunate to have such a wonderful role model for caring masculinity in my life. I know you’re checking the blog from time to time, so thanks, daddy!