Sep 092008
 

The Famous Monkey Rocker, a Person-Powered Sex Machine

The Famous "Monkey Rocker", a Person-Powered Sex Machine

Welcome to this week’s Twisted Tuesday Fetish: Sex Machines. In spite of what that guy from the bar claimed to be able to do, I’m not talking about human sex machines. Instead, we’re going to explore really big, usually electric, thingamabobbers designed to push the limits of human pleasure. If you’re ready to go far, far beyond the Hitachi Magic Wand, then click below for a tour of high powered sex machines. (Pictures include phalluses, so they might be NSFW)

Alright, now that we’re on the other side of the NSFW jump, I can go ahead and tell you that these things are usually called “fucking machines.” Garages across America (and probably the world) are full of tool-savvy lovers creating bizarre and powerful mechanical devices out of modified drills, saws, and other power tools. The result is some really amazing stuff! Witness below:

The first big, clunky power fucking machine was actually a medical device. Invented by George Taylor in 1869 and originally called the Manipulator, this beauty is an example of the steam-powered item used by doctors to relieve women of hysteria, the myriad of problems attributed to a lack of orgasms. Not just any orgasms, mind you, but those given by a dutiful husband. Self-induced orgasms were harmful, but hubby-gasms and doctor-gasms were good. Got it? Anywho, a patient would settle herself on the table while the good doctor would roll this machine up to her. It was prized for reducing treatment time from over an hour to about 10 minutes, thus maximizing profit for this understandably popular treatment. I do have to say that the steam engine makes me a bit nervous, but I guess you have to work with what you have. Also, note that this photo isn’t of The Manipulator, which was larger and vibrated externally, but rather of a different steam driven stimulator from shortly after The Manipulator came into vogue. The images of The Manipulator do not come with permission to repost, so this was the best I could do.

We’ll skip to a modern classic: The Sybian. This one isn’t made in a tool shed, it’s purchased for about $1300, plus accessories. Resembling a basic saddle, the lucky lady straddles the attachment while their partner adjusts the power box. Men could certainly use it, but it is marketed toward women and I’ve yet to hear a review of it from a guy. The manufacturer does offer a stroking toy for men, however, called the Venus. The Sybian weighs in at 22lb, and is roughly 1 foot in each direction (a little less in height, not including the attachment). It plugs into the wall and is known for being very, very intense. Attachments vary, and you’ll notice that the one on the floor on the far right is made purely for external stimulation. One knob controls vibration, the other is for rotation. Ride ’em cowgirl!

Meet the FuckSall. Yep, it really is a regular old Chicago Power Receipt Saw with an attachment and a Vac-U-Lock dildo. With a 1inch stroke and 6 settings, the FuckSall lets you use any Vac-U-Lock attachment. The cost? $170 for the whole kit, including the saw, or about $100 to buy the parts separately, for those who prefer to use their own saw.

Or how about a little dual penetration with your power tools? This thing is called The Twin Plow Fucking Machine. See those pistons on the far left? They attach to dildos so you can experience some 2-for-1 action. Height is adjustable, the company promises it will run quietly (even if you don’t), and it weighs less than a Sybian at 16 lbs. The stroke goes up to 5.25 inches, and at speeds of up to 130 strokes per minute! I guess that would be spm, eh? It’s yours for $1065, plus attachments.

Not to be outdone: The Gang Bang Fucking Machine. It’s a party for you and 3 of your kinkiest friends. Yes, 4 people at once. You can put a phallus on each arm, or a masturbator sleeve. It weighs 30-32lbs, strokes up to 6in, and gets up to 200 spm… for 4 people. It’s $1250, but you’ll have stories to scare the grandchildren with forever.

Need more? They sell several other types – here and here

Rather just enjoy the porn? Of course they make that, too – here (review of the porn site – here)

More antique vibrators – here

Read all our Twisted Tuesday Fetish posts – here

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  3 Responses to “Twisted Tuesday Fetish: Sex Machines”

  1. Just wanted to comment that the ‘FuckSall’ appears to be using a reciprocating saw, rather than a drill as the article mentions. Two very different motions are produced with the tools.

    -HF

  2. Good point! I’ve updated the post with the correct information. Thanks for noticing that! The Drildo is the machine made from a drill. It can be seen here: http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-drilldo-fucking-attachment_439.html

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