Oct 142008
 

Decorative and Erotic (image from KnottyBoys.com)

Rope Bondage: Decorative and Erotic (image from KnottyBoys.com)

This week we’re so excited to bring you an interview from Josef Abrams, a rope bondage enthusiast and educator from Seattle. Josef has agreed to share a bit about his passion for rope with us, as well as his contact information. He is available for workshops in the Seattle area, and has lots of great information to share here. For Josef, using rope can be a tool to bind, suspend, seduce, decorate, and enact sexual fantasies with very willing partners. He says it all better than I could, so read all about it (including a naughty story or two) after the jump.

Please tell us, what is your fetish?

I identify as a fetishist so I have a few to list. Mainly, rope bondage, including decorative, bondage for sex, suspension, partial suspension, and predicament bondage.

How common do you think your fetish is?

Bondage in and of itself is fairly common. I have met a few other riggers (rope tops) but not as many people take the rope work as an art.

I’d say its a common fetish and those that do it well are a bit more uncommon.

Does your fetish, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?

We have a ton of cool titles, most are Japanese words I don’t even pretend to know, but rigger and rope slut are right at the top. Rope top and my personal favorite, rope bunny. I have heard sensai and other Japanese terms as well.

How do you incorporate your fetish into your sexual experiences?

I like to play with girls that enjoy being tied up. It’s not necessarily a sexual thing for me. It’s a zen thing. The time preparing my new ropes, taking time to do intricate knots and ties, you focus and lose the outside world.

I’m lucky to have a girlfriend that is a total rope slut. She gets tied up for fun. We tie her in decorative bondage before we go to parties.

Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this fetish? If so, how do you handle it?

There is a risk of all sorts of tissue and nerve damage if done incorrectly. Suspension is especially dangerous not just from a falling aspect, but the rope harnesses often compress the rib cage making it hard to breathe.

There are several porn sites that depict tight breast bondage that if left on for long periods of time will damage breast tissue.

Knots along the spine will cause compression damage. Knots over major blood pathways will cause numbness and if left long enough cause nerve damage. Then there are knots over pressure points that can not cause damage but be very uncomfortable.

I recommend trying things out on yourself if at all possible the first time. Being aware of your partner’s anatomy and if they have any circulation problems. And always have a set of EMT shears on hand in case you need to start cutting rope.

What really works for you about this fetish, what aspects turn you on?

It’s a zen thing for me. It gives me a chance to escape the world and focus on my rope.

Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your fetish?

My girlfriend, as I’ve mentioned, is a rope slut. She loves being tied up. It helps to send her a relaxed state of mind. So often when she is over on the weekends and I have chores to do she get bound to one piece of furniture or another and told to masturbate. She has difficulties orgasming at times. Rope breaks down those walls and she has the most fantastic orgasms. As I’ve said it’s more of a zen, spiritual type thing for me.

How do people react when you share your fetish with them, if anyone knows?

The last time I bought a large quantity of rope was at a large hardware store. The guy cutting asked why I needed so much rope in so many specific sizes. I said “I’ll give you one chance not to ask.” I’d think that would be a warning. He asked. “Well it’s to tie up my girlfriend. The 4mm is for small joint, the 6mm will go around her thighs and breasts, and the 8mm will be used to dangle her form the ceiling.” He didn’t say to much after that.

How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?

The internet is full of rope sluts or girls that say they are rope sluts but have only been tied up in the bedroom and freak out when put in shibari type bondage.

Local BDSM clubs normally have a night or two set a side specifically for bondage.

Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your fetish?

There are so many great resources. Two Knotty Boys have great tutorial videos and a fantastic book out with one more in the works. Twisted Monk sells great products. The best rope I’ve used. He also has some good how-to videos on his web page. Midori holds workshops and has out several books. And for those of you in the Seattle area there is a workshop at the CSPC the first Sunday of the month. And still more for those of you in Seattle. I will be apparently hosting a workshop for beginners. Feel free to email me on FetLife (Josef_Abrams) for more information. (if you’re not on Fetlife you can email Ruth and I’ll pass it along for you: ExploringIntimacy at Gmail dot com)

Anything else you would like to add?

If you don’t know what you’re doing please ask someone that does. I hate meeting people that had bad experiences that have been turned off to something because it was done improperly only to find out they love it later. All the enjoyment they missed out on…

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Thank you so much, Josef! Your insight and information was wonderful, and we wish you and your partner the best.

If you’re interested in being interviewed for a future Tuesday post, drop Ruth an email at (ExploringIntimacy at Gmail dot com) and we’ll go over the details.

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