This week we’re fortunate to have TWO fetish interviews for our reading enjoyment! Nadia West of Diary of a Kinky Librarian is our first post, while the second interview is with be with Kitten of Kitten’s Paw Prints In Slavery. Right now all eyes are on Nadia West, so let’s dive in! Nadia is a sexy submissive woman who enjoys submitting to her dominant male partner. Past interviewees have referred to their dominant partners as Master, and Nadia’s Master goes by MasterDoc. Nadia also uses the word “Dom” or “Dominant” for him in this interview, and has another partner who is her boyfriend.
While Nadia can have vanilla (not kinky) sex, she much prefers this consensual exchange of power. Now you know the drill, this is for you to read, not meant as a guide, got it? Nadia does a wonderful job of putting a very human spin on a kink that some find hard to imagine, and does so with sexy flair. She has also put a lot of time and detail into her answers, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy them! Read all the details after the jump.
Please tell us, what is your fetish?
I guess you could say that submission is my fetish. Sex when I submit to my partner is way hotter for me than vanilla sex alone. My Dominant telling me what to do, or deciding when I’m allowed to orgasm turns me on.
How common do you think your fetish is?
Pretty common as far as fetishes go. Luckily there are those whose fetish is Dominance, and so we can connect and get our needs met.
Does your fetish, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?
D/s – Dominance/submission is one way to describe it. BDSM fits as well (the DS in there can stand for Dominance and submission). Generally the people who participate consider themselves a submissive or slave – there is differentiation between the two but people can’t agree on what the exact difference is. Slaves usually have less control over their lives than submissives, or they are considered to have no limits. Submissives are generally allowed to have some limits as to what they will do. (But you could very well meet a submissive who is considered to have no limits. Like I said, people don’t agree on the terminology.) For some it’s about TPE – total power exchange – where they give over all their personal power to their Dominant or Master. I give over power in many areas to my Dominant, but remain autonomous in many respects. I identify as submissive.
How do you incorporate your fetish into your sexual experiences)?
Even outside the bedroom he often tells me what to do and I do it – not in every area of life, I think he appreciates that I have a brain and can take care of myself – but I will do a lot of chores around his apartment and I have to get permission to masturbate any more than once a week. It’s not always easy to submit, particularly when it’s a to kink that’s not mine, but I think that the struggle is part of the experience. While I’m not looking forward to the day when he pees on me, I do see it as a chance to submit to his will. I doubt the act itself it will turn me on, but knowing that I’m doing it as his submissive just might. In the bedroom he guides our experiences and I follow. Sometimes pain is involved such as spanking, flogging, slapping, face slapping, he flicks my nipples – anything that makes me feel beneath him, that he’s the one calling the shots.
In the bigger scheme of things, we have agreements; such as I will not do BDSM play/submit to anyone else but him. He also has say over who I have sex with (with the exception of my boyfriend and any sexual experiences I have with him). As I mentioned before I only have blanket permission to masturbate once a week – anything beyond that I have to get permission beforehand. And when we’re together I don’t orgasm until he says I’m allowed, which has led to some really interesting side effects – such as, when I get really turned on and worked up, but not allowed to orgasm, I can often orgasm without genital stimulation (or while he’s spanking me) when he finally gives me permission. Just the sound of his voice saying, “Come,” will give me an orgasm at that point. Of course, I spend a lot of time begging for permission!
Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this fetish? If so, how do you handle it?
Well obviously when you get into potentially hazardous situations like flogging, whipping, etc. you want someone who knows what they’re doing – where not to hit. The lower back is off limits unless you want your submissive peeing blood. But the buttocks and the upper back are good places for impact play. If you delve into things like breathplay (where the Dominant controls the submissive’s breathing), you certainly want a sane, competent Dominant handling that scene. I’m afraid of breathplay so we’ve never done it. It’s on my list of hard limits, meaning limits I don’t even want tested. (Soft limits, such as piss play, are ones that can be pushed at his discretion.)
What really works for you about this fetish, what aspects turn you on?
Somehow feeling like I have no choice is a turn on for me. Knowing that I’m doing something because it pleases him and he’s told me to do it gets me hot. Knowing that I’m consensually giving him power is hot. In a lot of ways he’s metaphorically on a pedestal to me and I’m at his feet. I think he’s wonderful and very, very smart, and so I have confidence in giving up control to him. His confidence and knack for control is very sexy. I get breathless thinking about him giving me a stern look.
Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your fetish?
There’s tons of them over at my blog – www.kinkylibrarian.net.
How do people react when you share your fetish with them, if anyone knows?
By and large my friends are kink-friendly at the very least. Some know, some don’t. All who know are okay with it. My family doesn’t know about this and I don’t plan to ever tell them. I think they’d worry, and there’s really nothing to worry about.
How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?
Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your fetish?
Searching Amazon or a library catalog for sexual dominance or sexual submission will turn up a wealth of books. Searching the web will turn up even more. The Eulenspiegel Society is a kink-oriented group that provides a lot of information and resources.
Anything else you would like to add?
I blog at www.kinkylibrarian.net, where I write about my experiences with my Dom, MasterDoc. I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, so I enjoy telling others about my adventures (but then that’s a fetish for another time…).
Nadia, thank you so much for share so much information with us! I took a peep at your blog and am certain that our naughtiest readers will be fascinated with your erotic true stories. It was a pleasure interviewing you!
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