If you’re not yet a fan of Sera Miles, then I am pleased to introduce you to her and her lush…love of spanking! Sera is an accomplished fetish model and adult star, plus a fantastic sex blogger. Those who know her work (and her rear) know that she both gives and receives spanking with intense lust and amazing creativity. We’re very fortunate to have Sera here with us for a detailed and very graphic (and adult-only) interview about her love of spanking. Read on, after the jump!
Please tell us, what is your kink?
Spanking is my main kink. I enjoy other kinks, such as humiliation, bondage, and anal play, but I will confine my answers here to my spanking fetish; for me, other kinks I could live without—but I could not live more than a few days without a spanking fantasy.
How common do you think your kink is?
Light spanking-for-pleasure play is, I think, very common. I’d bet that many couples engage in a few swats during sex and think they are being “kinky.”
But I am into serious spanking kink, meaning that only a few swats during sex would annoy me. I like role playing and heavy duty scenes that leave marks; I enjoy age regression spanking play and hearing spankees cry (and crying myself). My spanking kink is broad in that sometimes I want to envision being paddled in a school scene, other times I might imagine a parent applying a hairbrush to my upturned bottom, and other times I want to wield a cane to a row of naughty girls and boys. I am excited by the entire ritual surrounding the delivery of a spanking, from the moment the spanker decides to spank to the last second the spankee has his or her behind exposed, from the first smack to the kisses (if deserved) afterward.
So, to return to the initial question: I think that a spanking kink like mine is common enough to have a community, but not actually all that common. If I had to give a number, I’d say less than 1% of the world has this kink.
Does your kink, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?
Mmh, I’m not sure. Spanker, spankees …
How do you incorporate your kink into your sexual experiences?
My sexuality is about my kink and vice versa.
I can enjoy sex that does not include any actual spanking play, but I will most likely be thinking about spanking. I might be telling myself a story or remembering a previous spanking. So, in that regard, I never have sex that does not include spanking.
I dated vanilla people for a years—over a decade, until I was 27, at which point I declared no more. Now, I’m married, and although my husband and I don’t always actively use spanking in our sex life, we play, with at least a few whispered words or a meaningful glance, every day.
Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this kink? If so, how do you handle it?
It’s possible to spank too hard, too long, too much, until a person bruises internally. You do have to play pretty hard for this to happen.
The more serious risk in spanking play, I’ve found, is spanking the wrong places, such as the kidneys. Some novice players have this idea that a bottom should be pink from end to end, but if you spank too high, you hit the kidneys. The safe spanking area is from about ¼ down on the behind to halfway down the thighs. I’ve done and enjoyed canings and switchings that go all the way down the legs, too; as long as the spanker is careful, the whole leg can be fair game (though this is not as traditional in spanking play).
Cutting with a cane, switch, or birch is a serious risk, too. This has happened to me, when I once played with someone who claimed much more experience than he had. (I’ve found many people make this claim, and it’s so silly—I would never say “no” to someone I was attracted to simply because s/he hadn’t played often. How else, I realize, does one get experience?) If someone whips a cane too fast on less fatty areas, then you can expect a cut that can take months to properly heal.
Spanking is not the most complex kink activity, but it does require concentration and patience on the part of the givers—that is to say, if the spanker wants to spank well and not simply hard and fast (which I find novices too easily fall into doing), then s/he will ask for mentoring, watch quality videos, and/or attend workshops. Most importantly, the spanker will listen to and check in with the spankee. Your own partner can be, in many ways, your best teacher.
Perhaps the biggest risk with this kind of play, though, resides within the realm of emotions. We all know that in our culture, many children are physically abused. For some, spanking play can be a wonderful way to release some of those old memories, a way to work through the resentment, anger, shame, guilt, and emotional pain. For others, a parent/child role play would tap into memories that would release only pain, and more pain. As with any kinky play, it is critical that partners talk to each other and learn about how each other’s psyches and pathologies and memories work with or against their fetishistic interests.
What really works for you about this kink, what aspects turn you on?
God, where do I start? The word “spanking” turns me on, as do words like “hairbrush,” “paddle,” “over the knee” … phrases such as, “You’ve been a bad girl,” or “You will learn your lesson,” or “You know you need this” (that last one is the fastest way to get me wet!).
“Get those panties down …”
“All spankings in this house are done on the bare bottom …”
“Bend over and present your bottom for punishment …”
Images of red, spanked bottoms … and of stern-looking men and women, with or without an implement in hand … straight-backed chairs and spanking benches …
The sound of a belt moving through loops … or a belt cracking in the air … a paddle or hairbrush tapped against a strict hand …
Playing out a role play scene: parent/child, teacher/student, boss/employee, nurse/patient, boyfriend/girlfriend, aunt/teenager … I can go with nearly any role play, if the role playing is done to its fullest …
And being spanked! And spanking! I love disciplinary spankings, spankings where I am turned over the knee and feel my panties being slowly lowered, a warm hand caressing my bottom … and then that same hand smacking my bottom. I love erotic spankings, taking a girl or boy over my knee and teasing their netherparts while I paint their bottoms red … and I even love punishment spankings, but that “love” is different.
I have used punishment spankings, or what some might call “domestic discipline,” in my relationship with my husband. The few times (luckily, I have not earned those spankings often!) he has given me a punishment spanking, the pain was excruciating, and I cried out of honest regret and shame and guilt. At the same time, thinking about my punishment before it happened kept me wet and writhing, and thinking about it afterward had the same effect. I have found that giving a punishment spanking provides me with similar feelings.
A spanking fetishist like myself tends to be into the entire ritual of spanking, be it disciplinary or erotic, serious or fun. For me, even if my partner and I stop and giggle, I want a scene to have a sense of serious-spanking-business about it, as in “You WILL learn your lesson!” I think those who have received spankings from me would say that I gave them ample time to breathe, relax, and laugh when appropriate, and they walked away with sore seats.
Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your kink?
Here’s an oldie and goodie:
One of my first play partners was a woman I met on-line who lived about three hours from me. Let’s call her “A.” She was professional, married, and looked like a J. Crew model. And she was just as turned on by spanking as I. I was single at the time, and after we emailed for months, we met for lunch. Just lunch. We liked each other; we could talk about nearly anything, and we were, I know now, laying the foundation for the kind of exciting play we would eventually enjoy.
A few months later, I passed through her small town on my way to a business meeting. We had a quick play time; she gave me a light spanking. We were naïve and inexperienced,and she was far too gentle. As soon as I turned pink, she stopped, and I pulled up my panties.
Fast forward six months … I had to attend a two-day meeting in the city closest to her town. She made up an excuse to tell her husband, drove to the city, and met me at my hotel room. I had wine for us, and I’d bought a hairbrush at a drugstore. She brought a leather belt. (This memory feels so sweet and innocent to me. I now have so many toys I couldn’t count them all, yet back then I had to walk down the aisle of a CVS drugstore and select a “suitable” brush, for I had no toy arsenal … I admit, though, that I’d long fantasized about being told to walk into a shop and purchase items to be used specifically and only for disciplinary purposes.)
She shyly, her light brown hair teasing her face, told me to lay across her lap. I was wearing a long silk skirt. After she smacked my bottom through it a couple of times, she lifted it to find I was wearing a thong. The energy between us became electric. As soon as she spanked my bare bottom, I sizzled inside.
She scolded me, punctuated the scolding with spanks: “Sera, you’re like a train off its tracks, and I’m going to spank you until you learn to behave.”
She pulled my thong down and picked up the hairbrush. Smack, smack, smack … I squirmed, wiggled, and cried out. It hurt! I bucked against her firm thighs. I kicked. I promised to behave. But she wasn’t done.
She stood me up and had me bend over the bed. She picked up that leather belt and laid into my bottom. She striped me good, and then told me to sit down on the bed, which I did gingerly. We looked at each other and within seconds we were kissing.
“Let’s get totally naked,” A. said, breathless, out of breath from disciplining me …
And we fucked and fucked and fucked … I spanked her while I finger-fucked her … she tapped the hairbrush against my clit … the bed was soaked with pussy juice and hot with spanked bottoms. I did not expect this kind of evening at all. Every sexual act was a sweet extra, a surprise. A., I know, didn’t expect it either. But, we connected, and we went with it, and that organic kind of sexual experience is, so often, among the best.
After we’d spent ourselves, we dragged ourselves to a local bar for some food. Before she left me that night, A. took me over her knee for a final ten firm swats with the hairbrush. I went to bed sore and beyond satisfied.
I never saw her again. Soon after that decadent evening, she started going to church and felt that indulging her fetish was keeping her from conceiving a baby. I will never, never forget her. As crass as it is to say, I loved that my queer and kinky and “out there” self had turned preppy married girl’s sexual world around. And she was not tame, oh god no. She kept slipping her fingers into my pussy, and she fucked me until I begged her to stop.
How do people react when you share your kink with them, if anyone knows?
Most of my friends know that I am a spanking fetishist. At this point in my life, I don’t have friends who are shocked or disgusted, and I don’t think I would make such friends. Most of my friends are fellow kinksters.
How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?
My husband and I met on alt.com, years ago, long before FetLife. Alt, in my experience, caters to people into BDSM, but not into other kinds of kink. I think this helped us meet—we stood out to each other as spanking fetishists.
Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your kink? (these links are NSFW)
Well, my own site, www.seramiles.com, will definitely explore spanking. I’ve done video work for Pacific Force, Strict Women, and Kelly Payne’s Tantrum Trainers, so I want to give a shout-out to them. Kelly Payne was instrumental to my coming out as a spanking fetishist.
I love the stories at Laura’s Spanking Corner.
These are all older sites that don’t use all of the current Web 2.0 ideology. I know spanking blogs proliferate on the Internet now, and a lot of them are great. Adele Haze’s “Spanking Model Speaks” is a favorite of mine. And I want to point up my friend Thebes’ site, which includes a blog and video. I might shoot for them this year.
Anything else you would like to add?
In my experiences as a spanking model, phone sex counselor, and pro-switch, I had countless people ask me how to “make it go away,” make their fetish go away.
It won’t. Ever.
It will grow, develop, and change along with you. Before I ever played, for example, I focused wholly on spanking. Just getting a spanking was so exciting and foreign and seemingly unattainable that my kink didn’t grow until I got and gave quite a few spankings. Now, ten years later, I’ve added figging and anal discipline to my list of kinks. Playing made my fetish grow, not disappear. I still love a good, old-fashioned spanking, but now that I’ve had more of those than I can recall, I fantasize about being paddled with a butt plug in, or being figged before being strapped. Once I have indulged those fantasies more, I will, I know, develop new ones.
You have to accept yourself and your kink. There is nothing wrong with you. Enjoy this special, unique way you have to get off. Enjoy this inner life to which you have complete access. As soon as you are ready, find people with whom you can share. None of us is alone.
I really can’t add anything to that, other than to thank Sera for a very, very hot interview. Wow!
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