Welcome to our Twisted Tuesday interview for May 26. This week we’re joined by the infamous Thomas, of Thomas’s Spanking Exploits! Thomas began his blog on spanking a little over two years ago and insists
“There is nothing quite so invigorating as having a lovely young lady across my knees for some barebottomed attention until her backside is a beautiful shade of pink.”
Thomas has a clear dedication to both the pleasures and the responsibilities of spanking. Continue reading to learn all about his passion for paddling bottoms, and how he pursues that perfect shade of pink.
Please tell us, what is your kink?
Well, my primary interest is in spanking, and that’s what fuels the majority of my kinky pursuits. I do have other interests, though, including bondage (shibari, in particular), dominance and submission, sensation play and anal play. Spanking, though, is at the heart of who I am.
How common do you think your kink is?
I feel that an interest in spanking is probably much more prevalent than some would think, though I hesitate to assign a value to it. I will say that the number is likely growing in leaps and bounds, fueled primarily by the internet. Thanks to cyberspace, people with this and other interests now have a much easier time of finding others that share their desires. It also provides a lot of material and information for people who might just be realizing their inherent kinkiness. I’ve found that this has led to a shocking trend, though, as the internet is open to all ages, and it’s becoming increasingly easier for underage youths to delve into their own fledgling fetishes. I have personally come across youngsters hiding in adult spanking chatrooms and forums, and I know of one recent model for spanking videos that has openly admitted to meeting with people for spanking play before she was eighteen. I suppose that this could be a boon for the fetish lifestyles, as the number of those in the scene will swell in the coming years. However, these young minds are impressionable, and easy prey for those that might hurt them. Even adults have to be careful when meeting potential playmates from the internet.
Does your kink, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?
Well, the kink is often referred to as spankophilia, and those that take part are often called spankophiles, or “spanko” for short. In the case of who is spanking whom, the simple terms of “spanker” and “spankee” are used. However, while those terms work fine during an actual spanking scene, we also need slightly more descriptive titles to describe a person’s place in the spanking lifestyle. We borrow a few BDSM terms for this. A “Top” is a person who generally is only the giver during spanking play, a “bottom” is a person who is generally only the receiver during spanking play, and a “switch” (sometimes written as “Switch” or “S/switch”, depending on the situation) is a person who’s willing to either spank or be spanked. There are several other terms that might pop up in spanking situations (Dom/sub, Master/slave, Big/little, etc.), but these delve into other kinks, and aren’t exclusive to spanking. I’m also a Dom, but I don’t really consider this to be a statement of who I am in the spanking realm, but rather a statement of who I am when all of my interests are lumped together. The only other common title is “brat,” which refers to a bottom or spankee who misbehaves in minor and playful ways in order to coax some spanking play from a spanker that they want some attention from. At a recent spanking party, one such brat simply poked me in the stomach every time that she walked by. This was enough of a hint to let me know that she wanted a trip over my knee.
How do you incorporate your kink into your sexual experiences?
To be honest, spanking can, and has been on many occasions, a sexual experience by itself. It’s not something that I have to “incorporate” into my playtime. When I meet with a young lady that I’ve become acquainted with, it’s basically understood that spanking is the reason. While she might be interested in sexual play, as well, it’s not a guarantee. If the original intent of our meeting is to discuss disciplinary spankings, then it’s quite likely that erotic spankings won’t be brought to the table. I suppose that, in truth, the real question is how I incorporate sex into my kinky experiences, because I have more spanking sessions than I have sexual ones. True, spanking is inherently sexual in my eyes, but not necessarily in the eyes of the person that I’m spanking.
Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this kink? If so, how do you handle it?
Well, the most obvious answer is to be aware of the person that you’re spanking and what conditions might affect the spanking session. The more you know about a spankee, the better you can spank her safely. I try to learn these quickly, as it isn’t something that should be learned slowly during the course of a relationship. One of my first questions to any new spankee that I’m meeting is if she has any health issues that I might need to be aware of. Occasionally, this discussion may include mental triggers that may make the experience bad for her. Once she’s over my lap, even before the first swat is given, I run my hands over her bottom to get the lay of the land. I check to see where her tailbone is, and where the safe striking surface of her bottom would be. Normally, this would be from the top of her cheeks, just below her tailbone, down to about one hand’s width beneath where bottom meets thigh. Yes, the very top of a spankee’s thigh is perfectly spankable, but it hurts more than the cheeks. Often, this works to a spanker’s advantage in a disciplinary environment.
Another safety issue, though it pertains more to females than myself, is making sure that you’re careful when meeting someone new. Since many of these meetings are between people that met online, you’re never completely sure that the person is how they portrayed themselves, or if they could be dangerous predators. Having a safecall (someone that either calls you regularly, or that you call at scheduled times) during your meeting will insure that someone knows where you are and what you’re up to. If you miss a safecall, your friend will know to contact the authorities immediately. Usually, having a safecall should be enough to discourage any unwanted attention or inappropriate actions from your new acquaintance. Getting as much information as possible from your new friend will also protect you. If you get your new friend’s license plate number as he pulls up and give it to your safecall, then you will have ample information to give to the police if he tries anything.
What really works for you about this kink, what aspects turn you on?
Well, the obvious answer would be my natural attraction to the feminine posterior, but there’s certainly more to it than that. I think that the trust involved when a young lady puts herself in the precarious position of being over my knee with the expressed intent of having me strike it repeatedly with my hand or an implement. That’s no small feat to subject themselves to. Having that level of trust and control is something that I take very seriously, and enjoy immensely.
Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your kink?
Most of my best experiences haven’t been so much “sexual” as just plain funny. I suppose that any spanking could be viewed as sexual, but it’s so much better when you are just trying to have fun.
How do people react when you share your kink with them, if anyone knows?
To be honest, I’m just about the most open person that I know when it comes to my kinky interests. I use my real full name on my blog, and even my friends, family and coworkers are aware of my interests. For the most part, no one shows any real shock or distaste of my interest in spanking. True, they don’t share my interests, but they seem to accept them. In the case of my family, I was always the “weird” kid, anyway, so I doubt if there’s really anything that I could do with my life that would shock them. The acceptance that I receive is probably due to being male, as there is a double standard. A female probably wouldn’t as readily receive acceptance. The unassuming jobs that I’ve had also have little reason to care about my outside activities.
How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?
Until I got my first computer in 2003 (Yes, I was a late bloomer.), I hadn’t had any contact with the spanking scene. When I finally got online, though, that quickly changed, and I’ve been on an uphill climb ever since. When looking for potential friends or playmates, the internet has been an invaluable commodity. I usually browse through spanking-oriented groups on Yahoo, Myspace, or Fetlife (a social community like Myspace, but dedicated to the fetish communities). I also have frequented several spanking forums and message boards. While I’ve met several potential playmates at spanking parties, I always continue to talk to them online when the party’s over, and I wouldn’t even have found the parties if it wasn’t for the internet.
Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your kink?
An excellent book on the subject is “The Compleat Spanker” by Lady Green. Currently, I feel that it’s just about the best written work on the actual act of spanking that you can find in print. A friend of mine from Texas is working on a new book, though, that should be ready soon, which may leave “The Compleat Spanker” in the dust. Once I hear that it’s available, I intend to let my readers know to look for it. In the case of online resources, I would suggest any spanking group or forum, as these are places where often hundreds of spankos talk about topics that they are familiar with. If you’re simply looking for enjoyment, though, I can’t really suggest a specific resource, as personal tastes are too varied to predict. I’m particularly fond of videos and images with more intense spanking scenes in them. The sites and magazines that would appease my tastes would be too extreme for a lot of casual spankos.
Anything else you would like to add?
Well, I noticed that you didn’t ask how I came to realize my kink. Since it’s a common topic, and since I didn’t know what else to put here, I thought that it would be a fun answer to include. While I didn’t fully realize the extent of my kink until my early adulthood, I had brief hints even as far back as my preteens. I never really experienced spanking in the home at that age, as the grandmother that I lived with at the time didn’t seem to believe in it, though I did occasionally witness or receive one while in private school. It was also a recurring theme in the Harvey comics that I read, like Richie Rich and Casper. I think that these titillating first images must have started the process. Even back then, I remember having fantasies of the neighborhood girls being spanked by their parents. I couldn’t have been older than ten, and only barely realizing sexuality, but these fantasies always included the girls being naked across their parents’ knees. Around this same time, I had a Playboy magazine (I remember that it was the issue with Ola Ray) that had a poem inside that I sometimes read. I was an excellent reader, and would always look up a word that I didn’t know. Well, the poem has a single rhyming couplet that I misinterpreted, somehow.
“With up and down iambic rhythm,
To teach her a new catechism.”
I interpreted the “up and down iambic rhythm” to be the motion of a hand spanking, and I looked up “catechism” and found that it meant a lesson. I mistakenly thought that the young lady in the poem was being spanked to teach her a lesson. In reality, it was describing the sex act. There are times that I wonder if this simple misunderstood couplet, found in a sex magazine, would later fuel my interest in spanking.
Later, during my teen years, I don’t recall having any sexual urges in regards to spanking. However, this was also the time that I was most exposed to spanking, as I now lived with my parents in a southern home, and a belt to a naked backside with the family watching was par for the course. The action seemed barbaric to me, and I vowed that I would never spank a child because of it. Besides, it never worked with me, and only taught me to be better at hiding my misbehavior. This opinion would later change, but only after experience in the spanking scene would show me that the act didn’t have to be just about whipping someone into submission. Not everyone understands the disciplinary aspect of spanking between adults, but it’s actually more mental than physical. The spanking is just a focus. Ultimately, I decided that the way that I spank the bottoms in my care (scolding and lecturing…. then spanking… then holding and consoling) would be an effective form of discipline in the hands of a capable parent. Sadly, most parents aren’t this capable, and are much more likely to strike a child out of anger or frustration.
I’m digressing, though. Ultimately, the moment of truth in my life was when I was browsing through a used bookstore with my mother shortly after adulthood. There was an adult section in the back, and I took a quick peek at what was there. Near the top of the shelf, as if it were calling out to me, was an issue of “Spank Hard.” I looked over the cover for a moment, and was instantly enraptured. However, I couldn’t buy it right then, since I was with my mother. That didn’t stop me, though, from coming back later that afternoon without her and purchasing that first spanking magazine. After having my first read of that magazine, I knew what my interests were. It would still be several years, though, when I got the internet, when I would meet with my first spanko and enjoy giving a real spanking to someone that wanted one. Yes, I spanked other girls before that, but they weren’t into it, and usually only put up with it because I was paying them to do so. (Did I mention how I’d learned to better hide my misbehavior?)
Thank you so much for such an entertaining and enlightening interview, Thomas!
Interested in reading more about Thomas and his adventures in spanking? Be sure to check his blog on which he makes regular posts about his thoughts, experiences and ideas related to being a spanko. Thomas also highlights spanking in the media, and anywhere else he finds it. Spanking video reviews? Check! Discussion? Check! Thomas also welcomes you to explore his other two blogs, and to contact him from any of them. The last blog, TSBN, is a shared blogging project that Thomas put together, making it especially fun!
His blog is also listed on the right, under Kink & Fetish Blogs, along with the blogs of all other Twisted Tuesday interviewees.
Are you interested in being interviewed about your kinks or fetishes? Drop me an email and you might be featured on an upcoming Twisted Tuesday!
Explore all of the Twisted Tuesday Kink Interviews here!