It’s been a rear-paddling good time over here at ExploringIntimacy, with a wonderful series of spanking fetish interviews this week and last. Last week I talked to Thomas, who loves to spank, and this week I bring you two fresh interviews with wonderful young women who enjoy being on the receiving end. Be sure to check out Sarah’s interview, after reading about Julie here. Julie is just beginning to explore her love of spanking with her online partner, who also happens to be her BDSM master. Julie documents her exploration of spanking in her blog, too. Keep reading for all of the details!
Hi, Julie! Please tell us, what is your kink?
Those who enjoy reading about kinks like kleenex tissues will be disappointed.. I’m just your general submissive spanko girl that enjoys fantasies about bondage and some aspects of darker BDSM stuff as well. As far as I can tell, my focus lies not mainly on the pain or the physical sensations, but the humiliation, vulnerability and trust involved. I’m also not into serious punishment – I like roleplaying, but getting “disciplined” for something I have really done was never part of my desires. Keep in mind though that I have yet to cross the line from fantasy to reality – I have never been spanked or other kinky stuff done to me, and I am dying to explore in real life what I have already imagined during online scenes with my Master.
How common do you think your kink is?
I’d say that compared to some other fetishes, my kink is pretty common – most vanillas have at least a vague idea about erotic spanking and bondage and those seem to be core parts in many BDSM activities. However, I am not exclusively interested in the heavy dungeon-whip-and-dominatrix stereotype scenes that are mainly mentioned in the media – while I do enjoy edgier fantasies as well at times, they tend to be in a healthy balance with ones involving more light-hearted, sensual spanking and other activities.
Does your kink, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?
I’ve already mentioned BDSM – and that is what I would classify most of my fantasies as, though spanking is the central part of my deviance. I noticed that some spankophiles tend to avoid that term because of the negative connotations, but in my opinion, spanking is part of BDSM more times than not. Of course, it depends on the personal motivations and reasons of those involved.
How do you incorporate your kink into your sexual experiences?
Right now, my fantasies mainly are self-pleasuring fodder, since I have momentarily no option to explore otherwise… my interest started out in spanking/humiliation play as foreplay, and that is still what I would love to experience when it comes to kink and sexuality. I am interested in being held down during sex and possibly play rape as well – which in no way means that I actually want to be raped.. I still struggle with this particular fantasy as well at times.
Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this kink? If so, how do you handle it?
I do consider hand-spanking with the spankee laying over the knee, for example, to be pretty safe – it is unlikely that any bodily damage will occur, unless the spanker has a granite hand. In my own exploration, I will most definitely take it slowly though.. build the intensity of the scenes gradually, not jump right in with several implements. Any reliable Top will make sure to get a good control over the weapons he’ll be using on a bottom first. Also, to prevent the partners freaking out during scenes or getting emotionally damaged, a lot of preparation, caution and last but not least communication is absolutely essential.
What really works for you about this kink, what aspects turn you on?
For one, the physical side of it excites me – though I haven’t experienced it yet, I am fairly certain that reality won’t differ too much from fantasy for me. I love the thought of his hand/whatever he is brandishing at the time impacting on my bottom, being held down or tied up.. The mental side of it though is what really gets me going: Being psychically overpowered, humiliated and at the same time feeling incredibly safe and secure is what makes me fly. The anticipation of a session alone is able to make me unable to concentrate on anything else.
Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your kink?
I’ll confess that I have had very little sexual experiences that didn’t involve my kink.. I only began exploring my bodily desires when I stumbled across spanking accidentally and then became excited for the first times in my life at kinky stories. Now, my Master and me are cyber-roleplaying which arouses me to no end. I’m reluctant to spill detailed accounts of our sessions here, but I’ll say that our “kinky fun”, as we like to call it, is very varied and creative with many different settings and implements, rather than being the “/me moves it in and out” cyber sex sometimes gets laughed at as.
How do people react when you share your kink with them, if anyone knows?
Well, I have a few vanilla friends online that know about my deviance, and they have taken it in a relaxed way and didn’t suggest that I should seek therapy, or anything like that. I’d never expected that reaction from my family, though, which is why I have kept my sexuality a secret until recently.. I have actually blogged about it here. Though it will take some time to get used to them knowing and I am not sure if I will ever share details, I am relieved that they didn’t freak out.
How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?
Lucky as I am, I stumbled across my Master accidentally in a completely vanilla context, but if I were looking for a kinky person, I’d go to local scene clubs or to parties rather than perusing contact ads. A lot of shit can happen when you meet total strangers alone… I’d also say that with people you encounter at a community site, it is only marginally safer – I certainly wouldn’t dive into kinky adventures without precautionary measures.
Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your kink?
My spanking addiction started out with reading related blogs, since they usually offer an unique mixture of personal experiences and tips for newbies – especially My Bottom Smarts, Freshly Spanked and Hermione’s Heart. There are also a ton of stories with varying quality and tutorials out there.. the possibilites are endless.
You can also keep an eye on Julie’s blog to learn more about her journey.
Thanks for all of the information, and for telling us a bit about your exploration in the world of spanking, Julie. Last, but far from least, congratulations on discovering this side of yourself and making the decision to begin experiencing it online! I do hope you’ll come back down the road to tell us more about how it has become a part of your life over time.
Check out part 1 of this week’s set of interviews with the star of SpankingSarah.com. Also, don’t forget Thomas’s interview from last week on his attraction to turning rears pink. Back in February I interviewed the very sexy fetish model Sera Miles, who also loves to be spanked.
Explore all of the Twisted Tuesday Kink Interviews here!