Feb 132010
 

credit: www.Copyright-free-photos.org.uk

The hottest new product is here, dominating my inbox with press releases, reviews, and debate.  Perhaps you’ve heard of this new series of pussy cosmetics, too, with its promise of 2 or 3 days of fresh, feisty and colorful labia for an irresistible, new pink vulva.  Who can resist your bright and bold little lady now, eh?  Let’s dive in and see what’s up with the newest trend in sexual enhancement.

My New Pink Button is marketed as a “temporary dye system”, never tested on animals, developed by a paramedical esthetician,  available in four shades of red (light pink through maroon) and… ooh la la… it’s distributed out of France.   It’s made to look natural and promises that it won’t rub off on clothes or partners.  Sounds great, but in the midst of all this I’m left with one unaddressed concern: I didn’t know that a natural pussy wasn’t already an optimal color, at least not until this product came along to fix it.

That’s how big pharma and the cosmetic industries work, after all.  It’s no conspiracy theory, it’s just success marketing: find a legit concern that a small portion of the population experiences and that your company can address with a product.  Then describe and raise awareness of the problem in such a way that the symptoms sound like they’re meant for a much larger ground of people than those for whom the product was actually made.  This awareness raising should make large numbers of people feel as though they have what is actually an uncommon problem, thus re-defining normal as problematic.  If the advertising works really well, people will start throwing the word or phrase around like salt in a snowstorm and it will become part of common lexicon.  What if your natural, normal functioning is actually erectile disorder, vaginal odor, chronic acne, ADHD, a missing or under-developed G-Spot, uneven labia or *gasp* a dull and unsexy-colored pussy?  With hordes of people suddenly aware of their new “problem”, thanks to unethical scare tactics, shaming and overly broad definitions, you now have a ripe consumer base for your fabulous new solution.  Tada!  A winning product is born.

Clearly I’m no prude and I’m all for spicing things up in the boudoir, but I’m sure you hear my thundering bias already.  So, allow me to step aside from addressing My New Pink Button as a specific brand of coochie make-up and instead venture into the underlying issues: what color is an attractive vulva supposed to be, and does a “new” vulva look somehow better than a “used” vulva?

Meet Your Vulva, Thanks to Scarleteen.com

Meet Your Vulva, Thanks to Scarleteen.com. Click to learn more.

Myth #1: A healthy, sexy vulva should be a specific color, and a bright one at that. Not true!  Cheesy as it sounds, it’s absolutely true when I say that labia are like flowers.  They’re meant to come in a range of delightful colors painted across variety of naturally attractive shapes.  It is normal and attractive for vulvar skin colors to include: black, grey, silver, gold, tan, brown, pink, white, red, purple, olive, blue and more!  Skin tone in the vulva need not match other areas on a woman’s body, either.  It’s a special place with unique skin tones.  So which colors are the sexiest?  Some people are used to seeing colors in the light, bright pink range, as Photoshopping and chemical skin lightening are rampant in porn industry.  However, remember that in spite of whatever photographers have decided shows up best on film, humans are naturally wired to like natural bodies.  The colors of natural pussies are evolved to be the utmost in sexy as-is.  While decorating can be icing on the cake, a deliciously moist and luscious cake is what really gets people interested.

Myth #2: A “used” pussy looks different; you can see when a vagina is worn out. It’s the word “new” in the product title that’s getting me as much as the idea artificial crotch coloring.  Vaginas and vulvas change naturally with age, this is true.  By the age of 30, or after child birth, the vaginal muscles have a greater ability to subsume (or expel) larger items than younger women.  This does not mean that older women are less tight – that’s all a matter of genetics and vaginal muscle tone.  But let’s get back to the visuals.  Healthy, happy sexual experience does not change the shape of her vagina, labia, clit, anus, or mons.  Clearly, changes in the presence of a hymen can be seen, but today most women are missing all or part of their hymen long before any consensual experience with penetration.  Coloration may change across the lifespan as the body matures; however, there is no particular color associated with an “old” vulva.  So, there is no need to make one’s “button” or anything look different or “new.”  Color does change when she gets aroused and blood rushes to the area, often making her natural colors deeper and more lush.  It’s likely that this is what the product was really shooting for, but they didn’t want to be quite so bold as to say “you can fake being already turned on with our product!”  This leads us to myth #3…

Myth #3: Using a product that mimics sexual arousal will enhance your relationship. I’m a complete lube snob and I stand proudly by that title, as long as it is used as a pleasurable tactile enhancement and condom safety enhancement, never as a form of faking being turned-on.  How in the world does it help our sexual communication and relationships when we fake our arousal?  As a relationship coach and sex educator, I work hard to help people communicate their sexual desires, as well as read each other’s body language.  Often times I meet people who are working hard to impersonate what they want, hoping it will somehow transform into the real thing: orgasms, trust, intimacy, confidence and more.  While looking aroused is sexy, it’s hottest (and most honest) for everyone involved when you look turned-on because you are AND when you or you and your partner take joy in working together to get there.

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  46 Responses to “Pussy Cosmetics And Vagina Myths”

  1. Ruthie, you are totally correct that the vulva is the human flower. My wife has been known to say “my flower…” Vulva cosmetics bring to mind the proverbial expression “guilding the lily”!

    My marriage is into its third decade. My wife and I have had 4 children. Before meeting me, my wife had so many sex partners she lost count. Yesterday, we took a leisurely stroll through the Garden of Venus in the daytime, and she let me see her vulva in daylight. Its appearance has not changed in the time I’ve known her. No wear and tear of any kind. The reason is simple: that part of her anatomy gets no sun.

    What is important is not how the vulva looks, but how the clitoris warms to foreplay, and how the vulva lubricates during foreplay. That said, seeing her vulva in midday made me gush precum, all right! A wet man is good to find…

  2. Thanks so much for writing back! It’s so great to hear about your relationship, and that is going strong (and sexy) after all these years. Yay!

  3. LMAO, Most of the time Im too busy to put on lipstick, let alone give myself a crick in the neck trying to apply paint to my vulva! What a thoughtful and thought provoking review :)

  4. *laughs* Thanks, Joanna! Some asked me today if I think other cosmetics might start being developed for our vulvas. For instance if this is like base or lip stain, might pubic mascara be in the future? That one really cracked me up!

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  6. Wonderful post. It’s so nice to read natural vulva appreciation that is positive, in a society that lately has been doing it’s very hardest to make us reject our own bodies. I’m forwarding this link to my younger sister!

  7. This is fascinating. My wife has used lipstick on hers before and I must say, like cosmopolite, I haven’t noticed hers changing over time. I also agree with myth#3 — products themselves enhance the sexuality that’s already developed from “inside.” If it’s not inside, then the thoughts and emotions need to develop.

  8. […] those of you, like me, who don’t like the idea of big pharma whipping out vagina myths, read this. One would think that in the 21st century, we’ve moved beyond vaginal myths (including that […]

  9. Thanks, Amber! I’m glad your younger sister has you in her life!

  10. DD Symms – Yay! I couldn’t agree more!

  11. I reserve the same disdain for this as for vaginal deodorants. No point, but they make people unhappy with themselves. A shame when so many people are sexually uncomfortable already.

    Mykey

  12. Bravo! Fantastic post. Should almost be required reading for every young woman and man beginning the sexual part of their life’s journey. ThePinkPoppet.

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