Nov 162012
Stencil Stating: Many Hands Make Light Work with images of hands

From the Icarus Project

Yesterday David Brooks, Op-Ed Columnist for The New York Times published an interesting piece entitled The Age of Possibility, in which he explores some recent research that shows an increase in single-hood across many nations, as well as a decline in fertility rates.  Clearly these statistics have large national and global political and financial implications.  This information is neither new nor surprising, so Mr. Brooks tacks on his two cents by shaking his fist at young adults these days before suggesting we wait to see whether this is a problem before passing judgement.

This is an interesting piece, but I am disappointed in the author from my perspective as someone who studies family and relational well-being.  Although he hints at additional options, he only discusses single-hood and “traditional” 2 parent families.  It would have been nice to see him not only look at smaller family structures, but also larger ones such as multigenerational microsystems (multiple generations actively working together as a single unit and perhaps living together), large and supportive step-families, intimate relationships consisting of more than two adults, and others.

I am not surprised that the author failed to address larger family structures and mindful single-hood, though, especially given this sentence near the end:

“They’re better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice — commitments to family, God, craft and country.”

Way to restrict the definition of what counts as a family and what counts as commitment beyond the self, buddy!

Since demographers rarely ask about these “non-traditional” structures (which have always been around but rarely studied, valued, or recognized), when a person marks “single” on a survey they may just be marking “I don’t meet any of your other categories”.   Who knows how many of these “single” folks aren’t also “enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice” — familial or otherwise?  Furthermore, Mr. Brook’s dismissive wave toward those who are actually single makes his own biased opinions of adult single-hood as an irresponsible, immature and self-centered phase all too clear.

Go take a gander at the original piece and tell me what you think.  I’m curious if any of these issues, or others, also stood out to you and what your take on them may be!

Nov 252011

It takes something special to get a woman to gush about your date over coffee with her friends. But unfortunately, it takes a lot less to get her to gripe to her friends about a date gone wrong.  In fact, my Twitter followers were eager to chime in when I asked what their deal breakers were!  Read my full piece at to find out if you’re falling into these three bad habits that can damage your dating reputation.

–Click here for the whole story.

Mar 082010
Black Lace Lips by Nina C.

Black Lace Lips by Nina C.

There I stood at the front of the room with a playful feather-tipped whip in my grasp, the short rubber tails resting in the palm of my other.  I smiled down at one of my favorite workshop attendees, gave her wink, and then slowly narrowed my eyes as the rubber tails began to slap against my open hand in a slow rhythm.

“I hear you were naughty, very naughty.  I can’t allow you to be naughty like that without paying the price.  Are you ready to tell me what you did?”

The room is quietly transfixed, watching my quick transformation from bubbly and educational into an example of a confident and assertive partner with the promise of exotic pleasures shining in my eyes.  Not just any pleasures, mind you, but the kind of sexy fun that gives permission to be naughtier than my fictional accusations with no regrets and no risk.  After all, an invitation like that tells a lover that she or he has permission to let down their guard, join my fantasy and make it real.

“Oh, yes!”  came her eager response in a stage whisper, triggering a wave of laughter through our group.

That night I was discussing the value of props during dirty talk, but I had clearly found a topic of interest with my participants that night (and not just my target).   The questions came fast and furious after the workshop:

  • How do I get my partner to do something new?
  • Where does that confidence come from, and how do I tap in without feeling silly?
  • I’ve always wanted to try something special but he won’t initiate.  How can I suggest it without it falling flat?
  • We’re both the passive type.  Is there a way to invite my partner to be more assertive with me, without them feeling nervous about mistreating me?
  • And my favorite: Can you teach me how to stand up and look smooth saying something like that?
Let me tell you, every person of every gender has an inner vixen ready to be invited into their bedroom.  Whether you’re shy, passive, inexperienced, or simply unpracticed in making this kind of leap with a partner, I promise it is there.  How do I know?  Helping clients to tap into this facet of themselves is just one of the many wonderful parts of my job!  Sometimes it comes easily, just waiting to be unleashed.  Other times it’s a delightful process of discovery and intimate growth between partners.  Not only can a bit of sensual dominance add incredible excitement to a relationship, it can also be a deeply intimate route to improved communication, playfulness and an opportunity to grow together as a relationship.

How to start?  Begin by looking for your voice by hunting through quality erotic stories of sensual dominance.  You need not be the dirtiest sailor in town, nor do you need to be the dominant partner in your relationship.  That’s right, you can initiate just far enough to give your partner the inspiration and direction to take charge for the rest of your interlude.  Regardless of whether you’re a smoldering dominatrix or a shy librarian on a mission, once you’ve found a natural persona you can work with you’ll be ready to tap into the other elements of your fantasy including your plot, props, pleasure points, poise and sensual words.

Ready to learn more?  You’re in luck!

Join me for a live workshop this weekend at the lovely Lotus Blooms in Alexandria, details below.  Not in the DC area this weekend?  You can also check out my series of workshops on Fantasies for the Shy at the wonderful KinkAcademy .

When you’re ready to take Irresistible Seduction to new heights, drop me a line to schedule your one-on-one session with me.  My clients come from all over the world, thanks to the magic of Skype, as well as from the DC area!

Irresistible Seduction: From Fantasy to Bedroom

  • Sat, March 13, 8:00pm – 9:30pm
  • Lotus Blooms at 1017 King Street, Alexandria, VA. (703) 535-8225 (map)
  • You requested this topic at our January workshop, Fantasies for the Shy, and here it is! Ready to heat things up this March? Enter a new level of seduction as you entice your lover with an irresistible touch of sensual dominance, even if you’ve never dared to before. Bring voice, poise, and titillation into alignment as Dr. Ruthie guides you in exactly how to bring this fantasy from your imagination to your bedroom. Arrive early to shop with Dr.Ruthie at 7pm, then join us for the workshop at 8pm sharp. This event is open to all genders, sexualities, relationships and singles. Reservations are suggested to ensure your seat, cost is $20. Call (703) 535-8225 for info and tickets.

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May 162009

Sharing Your Sexy Secrets Well Can Be A Pleasurable Part of Emotional Intelligence

Sharing Your Sexy Secrets Well Can Be A Pleasurable Part of Emotional Intelligence

The Telegraph, a UK newspaper, puts out some interesting stuff.  I was quite disappointing, however, in their reporting on some very cool research on the role of women’s emotional intellegence in the bedroom.  The headline shouts “Intelligent women enjoy sex more than ‘bimbos’, research finds: Women with brains have more fun in bed than the average bimbo, new research suggests.”  What sounds like interesting research was baddly butchered in this article.  Unnamed Telegraph writer, I would like to invite to you discuss your choice of language over tea.  Topics covered will include both sexism and inaccurate reporting.

Lets focus the good stuff from this fascinating study and pretend that the “b word” was never used, shall we?  We all love good research with findings that can be applied in favor of sexy talk and fantasies!  (more after the jump)

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Nov 072008


Bisexuality Is In The News Lately, Like the Source for this Pic (click for the ABC news article)

Bisexuality Is In The News Lately, Like the Source for this Pic (click for the ABC news article)



In today’s modern society, we seem to have a lot more choices. Pizza sauce or Ranch dressing? Hot coffee or iced coffee? White paint or beige paint? Granite countertops or formica? Sedan or SUV? Penis or vagina? What if you could have both?

It’s so interesting how the sexuality of the human body works. I am fascinated when people tell me about their sexual preferences (gay, straight, and anything in between). I never tire of hearing about what makes others happy.

Meet my friends,  J (a sexy 29 year old male) and M (a sexy 32 year old female). Both are bisexual and have agreed to be interviewed for this post in the hopes of sharing their pleasure and past experiences, and to clear the air about this often misunderstood sexuality.

(interview after the break)

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Nov 072008

Lusty but Speedy

Bunnies: Lusty but Speedy (click pic for source article)

This week’s Friday Pleasure Post is a Q & A from a recent workshop attendee on how she and her boyfriend can work together to help him last longer in bed.

Just as of recently, my boyfriend has been experiencing what I think is called premature ejaculation. He goes really quickly and then goes limp. We’ve been together for a while now, and are currently away at separate schools. The last couple of times that I visited him in New York City, he has had this problem. Any insight as to why this is happening or suggestions of what he/we can do? – Thanks, Trish

Keep reading after the jump for my response, with common reasons and lots of tips and resources!

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