Washable, comfy, strap-on joy with the SpareParts Joque Harness

Aug 182011
 

  • Toy: SpareParts Joque Harness (sent by Babeland.com for review)
  • Type: Washable fabric strap-on harness that’s highly adjustable, super comfy, and very durable.  Holds one cock, with a pocket inside if you want to add your own vibrator.
  • Material: Nylon, Spandex, Elastic and Velcro. Comes with a purple or black pouch and black straps
  • Price: $100
  • SMT rating: N/A.  It doesn’t vibrate unless you add your own vibrator.

Once upon a time, I co-discovered a new sex injury that I will simply name “The Kitty” in honor of the co-creator.  I will spare you the details, dear reader, and simply state that she was left with a rug burn on the bridge of her nose from repeated rubbing against a leather strap-on harness strap.  How embarrassing for everyone involved, although we were also proud of our new discovery!  Oh, the sacrifices we sex educators must make.  Anyway, the moral of the story is simple: I love a leather harness as much as the next person (assuming the person next to me loves them a lot), but sometimes a washable cloth harness is simply the best tool for the job.  I’d been hearing the joyful reviews of SpareParts harnesses, and so I asked Babeland to save my reputation as someone who invents new sex injuries by sending one right away.  Even better, they sent two – a his and a hers.  The Joque is the one for women, the Deuce review will be up shortly.

Joque Harness Image

The Joque is a sexy, comfy, highly adjustable harness. Watch the video to see just how adjustable it is!  It’s got lovely side cinches to make it easy to tighten, loosen, and slide on and off on a whim without making major adjustments.  The jock strap design highlights your round lil’ (or big) hiney, and the pouch has a stretchy cock ring to keep your dildo secure.  Plus, the inside of the pouch has flaps that cover the back of the flared base to offer padding between your mons (your fluffy mound area over the public bone) and your toy.  Toss it in the wash when you’re done and you’re all set.  Have sex with lots of people in a night/weekend? Buy a few so you always have a fresh one handy!  You can also tuck an outtie vibe into the pouch to get yourself buzzed while you’re strapping it to Kitty (she does get around in all the best ways) or whoever is lucky enough to receive your affections.

What are the cons to this design?  Frankly, I haven’t found one yet.  It rides low, as it should, so it’s easy to maneuver.  It’s easily adjustable and visually appealing.  It does not have a removable ring, but the ring it has offers a firm stretch that worked for my narrow dildo in the video as well as my thick Bandit dildo.  It didn’t chafe anyone, and people liked the way it looked. The washability remains my favorite quality, though.  With two generous size options, it’s likely to fit the slender folks and the thick ‘n juicy folks, which is a promise that’s often made and rarely kept so I appreciate that SpareParts does follow through on their size ranges.  No excuses – go give it a shot before you leave someone with some awkward explaining to do at work the next day!

 

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You can now rock two penises. Really.

Aug 182011
 

  • Toy: SpareParts Deuce Harness (sent by Babeland.com for review)
  • Type: Washable fabric strap-on harness that’s highly adjustable, super comfy, and very durable.  Holds two cocks (both silicone or one flesh and one silicone), with a pocket inside if you want to add your own vibrator or to happily hold your scrotum or entire flaccid package.
  • Material: Nylon, Spandex, Elastic and Velcro. Comes with a black pouch and black straps
  • Price: $130
  • SMT rating: N/A –  It doesn’t vibrate unless you add your own vibrator.

    • Ok, so the person sitting next to me is urging me to make some off-color and/or Strong Bad-related puns about the name of this product, but is too awesome to tarnish in such a way.  Besides, I think Strong Bad is trying to avoid strap-on related scandals in the current political climate.  Instead I will simply state the most important thing about this harness: you can now rock two cocks.  They could be two silicone cocks, one flesh cock and one silicone cock, or… if you were born with two flesh cocks one over the other, then you can now outfit them with a lovely harness.  Hey, this is a judgement-free zone, right?

    Back to two cocks.  Just… just imagine it.  Maybe the lower one is soft and tucked safely in the pouch, whether you’re wearing a soft pack prothetic cock or you were born with your package already attached.  Maybe you always wanted to have two hard cocks, just for the sheer joy of it.  Whatever your mood, the Deuce by SpareParts is ready in all its attractive-yet-washable glory.  The harness is modeled by what appears to be a cis-gendered male on the package, suggesting the delights of discovering what could happen if the stressors and/or distractions of an erection were removed from your minds.  Or maybe you wanna get a little kinky with your boytoy for the evening.  Super safe sex?  Another great reason!  Gosh darn it, the reasons are infinite.  It’s comfy, it’s highly adjustable, and the two sizes will fit a very wide range of body sizes.  That’s really true – it’s not just a claim.  And you can also use it with just one cock, of course.

    What are the downsides to this design?  You’ll have to tell me, because I haven’t found any yet!

    *Important note: Babeland was kind enough to let me know that the lower hole of the Deuce was not designed to support a silicone cock all on its own.  I would suggest wearing a basic rope harness or other adjustable harness that you can make extra-low-riding if you want to use it with two silicone dicks.

     

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    Sweet Little Love Bunnies

    Aug 152011
     

    • Toy: Love Bunnies (sent by Babeland.com for review)
    • Type: Bullet vibe in rounded bunny-shaped silicone form. Bullet runs on 3 watch batteries and has 1 speed push button control.
    • Manufacturer: LoveBunnies
    • Material: Silicone Bunny with ABS plastic removable vibe. Come in vibrant purple, pink and black.
    • Price: $20
    • SMT rating: 0.  It’s a mild-to-moderate toy powered by a bullet vibe.  But remember it’s an outtie so it you won’t be inserting it.

    When I first saw the Love Bunnies out of the UK I really, really hoped they would become available here in the US. Thankfully, Babeland.com has these adorable vibes for us in three happy (hoppy?) colors. Boasting an easily cleaned, firm silicone bunny with flickering ears and tail that is actually a removable bullet vibe, these are just too cute. I found that the bullet vibe on mine was much easier to remove than most sleeve & bullet type sex toys; however, my vibrating bullet was also quite loud and the button was a bit finicky. This toy will be a strong match for folks who like light to moderate vibrations but, as with all bullet vibe toys, those who want strong rumbles will be left appreciating its form more than its function. No matter what, though, you simply must see my Love Bunny’s adorable trick! If I turn the vibrator on, the bullet swirls itself right up her tail without any help from me. Seriously, you just have to see it.

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    Enjoy Your Own Forbidden Fruit

    Aug 152011
     

    • Toy: Forbidden Fruit (sent by Babeland.com for review)
    • Type: Hard plastic vibrator in the size and shape of a vibrant red apple
    • Manufacturer: Riannes
    • Material: ABS plastic
    • Price: $119 (but on sale for $89.99 at the time of this post)
    • SMT rating: 1, but remember it’s an outtie so it you won’t be inserting it.

    Ever fancied yourself an seductive evil queen, an innocent maiden, or perhaps Eve discovering something delightful to share with Adam (or Lilith)?  Perhaps you just prefer a classy vibrator you can leave on your nightstand when the dog-sitter comes over, or you’re looking for the most daring conversation starter at the Halloween party this year.  This lovely outtie vibe will give you a taste of pleasure, regardless!

    The Forbidden Fruit vibrator was sent to me for review form Babeland.com, and is it ever a pretty little thing!  It feels sturdy in the hand and is clearly well made, complete with decadent packaging.  Made of ABS plastic with a flexible green stem, it sits in a stately domed container that also functions as its charging station, thanks to a port in the back.  It has seven function settings, all controlled by manipulating the stem side to side: steady on, 3 wave patterns, and 3 intermittent patterns.  All of those settings can be adjusted for intensity by pushing the stem up and down.  Holding the stem in for several seconds turns it on and off.  The vibration offers a steady rumbling sensation in a middle-to-lower pitch of vibration and it does get quite strong at the higher speeds.  A red light shines when buttons are pressed and when it needs a recharge.  Just be sure not to leave this apple charging for more than 24 hours, and to give it a curtousy charge if you haven’t used it in a month for whatever reason.

     

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    Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms is the Perfect Combination of Sexy and Smart

    May 062011
     

    In spite of all the bad press, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the world is full of amazing guys who really care about pleasuring their partners.  Yes, that even includes straight guys!  At a recent workshop for men with female partners, I reviewed twelve top myths about male sexuality that I see as a coach.  When it came time to talk about the specifics of anatomy, pleasure, and technique, I wanted to make sure that guys would have resources they could use at home, too. So, I passed this DVD around and suggested that they each consider getting a copy for themselves and their sweeties.  I don’t usually recommend a specific product (versus a general range of products) at my workshops, but this video is such an excellent blend of sexiness, education, and comfortable tone, there just isn’t anything better on the topic.

    Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms is a must-have, sexy educational video on female pleasure

     

    Tristan Taormino is known for her excellent and sexy educational videos, and she continues to impress me with the quality of her DVD offerings.  This recent video offering from Vivid Video is a guide to female pleasure and orgasm, and it is the best one of its type that I have seen.  It starts with great discussions of technique and then some sexy interviews, followed by long explicit scenes featuring authentic female pleasure, one couple at a time.

    The Expert Guide features an ethnically diverse cast made up of popular stars from both the mainstream heterosexual and queer porn worlds.  It’s full of accurate, concise information on the female anatomy and orgasm, with both male/female and female/female couples demonstrating their chemistry, arousal, and orgasms in a very female-centric manner.  As you might guess, the video has a huge emphasis on female orgasm; it’s the centerpiece of the explicit scenes, with only two male orgasms taking place during the entire DVD and no facial come shots.  Since the female performers in this video chose their partners for their scenes, the chemistry shows in their genuine interactions.  There are also a lot of extras with information on toys, Kegel exercises, masturbation and other related topics.

    There is very little negative to say about the Expert Guide to Female Orgasms.  Those who are simply watching to see women getting off will need to do some fast-forwarding to get past the educational beginning, but the sexy explicit scenes are worthwhile even if they are the only portion you watch; it’s tough to find real female orgasms in porn, and so exciting and refreshing to see such powerful ones as are on this DVD.  Also, while the body types of the performers are diverse, there aren’t any particularly fat cast members, so those who are interested in bodies with more cushion may feel a bit left out.

    Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms is one of my most highly recommended educational videos.  It’s absolutely perfect for couples with a female partner to watch and enjoy together in order to learn about her pleasure.  I’d be surprised to hear from anyone who can make it to the end of the video without trying some of its suggestions themselves before it’s over!

     

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    The Amor from Over the Rainbow

    May 052011
     


    Sometimes, the perfect penis is an absolutely average-sized one.  You mean, you gotta figure that Mother Nature knew what she was doing with the design specs, there.  However, I do have to admit that a dildo with rainbow stripes might even be  a little bit extra-perfect.  No offense, Mother Nature!  So, is the Rainbow Amor the most perfect penis of all?  Read on to find out.

    • Toy: Rainbow Amor (sent by Babeland.com for review)
    • Type: Dildo, harness-compatible, rainbow-colored!
    • Manufacturer: Fun Factory
    • Material: Silicone
    • Price: $65
    • SMT rating: N/A

    Babeland's limited-edition Rainbow version of the Amor is deliciously colorful

     

    Fun Factory spoils us so.  Not only do they may fantastic, body-friendly and oh-so-good toys, they’re now releasing a delightfully colorful version of their Amor dildo: it’s the Rainbow Amor!

    Other than the beautiful coloring (and, seriously, look at how cute and pretty that is), what makes the Rainbow Amor so great?  It’s made from medical-grade silicone, so it’s body-friendly, but it has some give that is reminiscent of old-school extra-firm jelly toys without all the health risks.  It has a soft, flexible flared base that is comfortable against the pubic bone when worn in a strap-on harness.  Its curved shape is moderate but noticeable, gives nice G-spot pressure, and feels filling without being a large toy.  For those who prefer a more realistic size, the Amor is 5.5″ long and 1.5″ wide, which is about the national average for penis size.

    And, finally: HELLO, IT IS RAINBOW-COLORED.  How awesome is that?

    There aren’t any downsides to the Rainbow Amor, per se, but it may have some features which bother you depending on your personal taste.  First, since it’s about average for real penis sizes, it’s a bit on the small side, especially lengthwise, with regards to its size compared to other dildos.  Also, if you prefer your dildos to look realistic, clearly the rainbow coloring of this toy might be too much for you.  Since it’s a smooth, non-textured shape, this also makes it a less realistic toy.  And, finally, it’s worth repeating that since this is a silicone toy, it is not compatible with silicone lubricants.

    Overall, the Rainbow Amor is a great dildo.  Not only is it a nice, friendly, average-size with a good shape for G-spot stimulation and pleasant, giving texture, it is also a beautiful rainbow color that pretty much guarantees it will be the belle of the ball at any Pride celebration.

     

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