Kink | Exploring Intimacy

Wear your desires on your waist with the Lash Belt

Feb 092011

We’ve all heard the experts tell us that sexy lingerie is the key to confidence, no matter what you have on over it. But what if you could send a naughty little signal to those in the know and wear your kickass accessories on the outside? The Lash Belt offers you the opportunity to wear a light, snappy fantasy accessory as an eye-catching decorative belt. While it’s not for heavy use, it’s sure to get your point across.

Toy: Lash Belt (sent by Babeland.com for review)
Type: Fashion accessory and light BDSM whip
Manufacturer: Incoqnito
Material: Sterling silver-plated metal, leather
Price: $89
SMT rating: N/A

The Incoqnito Lash Belt lets you wear a sexy accessory with a kinky twist

The final Incoqnito item for tonight is the Lash Belt, a leather belt with metal handles that also functions as a light whip for BDSM fantasy play. More than anything else, this toy requires the reminder that Incoqnito does not make heavy-duty BDSM toys, but rather fashion accessories with a kinky bent. If you are looking for a functional whip for BDSM-play, you will want to look elsewhere.

The Lash Belt is a cute, eye-catching accessory when worn as a belt. It can be adjusted to a large variety of body sizes (you’ll need to unclip the handles to adjust it: watch the video to see how). The metal handle is pretty, and is held together by magnets so it can be easily split to take the belt off and adjust. Using the Lash Belt as an accessory would make it easy to go from sexy cop to bad cop in a matter of seconds in a good fantasy scene!

Unfortunately, while the Lash Belt is a pretty, naughty fashion statement, its usefulness largely ends there. The leather is a cheap, painted quality that shows wear when the belt size is adjusted with the little metal clip. This metal clip, by the way, must be moved to the base in order to be able to use the Lash Belt at all safely as a fantasy whip. Personally, I also sometimes had some trouble getting the magnets to line up correctly when putting the handle back together.

If you’re looking for a fun accessory to wear out that might communicate a bit about your naughty side, then the Lash Belt will work just as you desire. It’s cute and noticeable when worn as a belt and when turned to its whip form definitely communicates a certain carnality. But as an actual BDSM toy, the Lash Belt is somewhat flimsy, easy to wield unsafely if you forget to move the clip, and isn’t as easy to use as one could wish. If you’re looking for a BDSM toy, you’re advised to keep searching.

View all my Babeland reviews.
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The Razor won’t scratch the Hand That Feeds

Feb 092011

I’m probably dating myself in one direction or another, but as a young adult, I was a big fan of some of Nine Inch Nails’s videos. Say what you will about that, but it’s as good a segue as any to introducing this fun, creepy-yet-sexy little skin stimulation toy. It’s a nice combination of classy, yet suitable for your fantasies about torturing Mr. Bond, Trent Reznor, or whoever works for you.

Toy: Razor (sent by Babeland.com for review)
Type: Portable claw & pinwheel
Manufacturer: Incoqnito
Material: Gold or sterling silver-plated metal
Price: $89-99
SMT rating: N/A

The Razor is an intimidating but sexy toy from Incoqnito
After kink-ing up the necktie, Incoqnito decided to also give us a sexy, naughty twist on the Swiss Army knife. The Razor is a classy-looking metal sheath that comes in a reusable fabric bag. But when you unfold the sections of the Razor, you’ll see it’s no Boy Scout toy, but rather a couple of sexy sensation toys!

The Razor has two “arms,” both of which are metal: a sharp claw, and a small spiky pinwheel. Both of them are attention-grabbing without being too nasty in terms of how harsh they are on the skin (though, of course, you should always be mindful of how much pressure you put behind them). It has a lovely metal design (in either silver or gold plating) and is easy to use. It’s nice to have the portability of these toys, since all folded up they won’t accidentally poke you in your pocket or bag. The Razor looks very intimidating, in a delicious way, but isn’t too mean in the touch, making it just perfect for some kinky fantasy play that doesn’t get too heavy.

As with all Incoqnito toys, the manufacturer wanted me to remind you that the Razor is a fashion accessory with a kinky twist, and isn’t meant for heavy BDSM play. Be mindful of this when using it, and look elsewhere if you’re looking for something for a big, hardcore kink scene. But as a fantasy tool and light sensation toy, the Razor is a classy-looking, fun, and easy-to-carry toy!

View all my Babeland reviews.
Win a gorgeous glass sex toy from C.A.P. and Dr. Ruthie!

Pull your loved one close with the Incoqnito Necktie

Feb 092011

Subtly kinky toys and accessories can lead to some very hot flirting and fantasy play. Incoqnito is looking to help you launch into some sexy roleplay with their new line of kinky goodies that could pass for vanilla items. They recently send me the Necktie, which will be a good choice for certain kinksters with a fetish for business suit attire. Read on and watch the video to see if this product is a good fit for you.

Toy: Necktie (sent by Babeland.com for review)
Type: Adjustable fashion necktie/light bondage leash
Manufacturer: Incoqnito
Material: Polyester and rayon, sterling silver or gold metal portion
Price: $54-59
SMT rating: N/A

The Incoqnito Necktie can be a classy way to lead your sweetie around

Before heading into this review, let me share a caveat that Incoqnito sent me with regards to their toys: all of their subtly-kinky toys are meant as kinky “fashion accessories,” and are not suitable for hardcore S&M folks who would put a lot of stress and strain on the toys. This applies to all three of the Incoqnito toys I’m reviewing. So, just you’re heading into your Incoqnito accessories on the right foot, keep in mind that they’re fantasy items, meant for light play and not for big scenes.

The Incoqnito Necktie appears at first glance to be exactly what it sounds like: a fashion necktie made out of nice, slightly shiny black fabric, with either a sterling silver or a gold “knot.” It’s cute and fashionable, and the metal slider means that you don’t have to know about full-Windsors or anything else regarding tying a tie. You just slide the metal bit up and down to change the size of the neck hole and shorten or lengthen the tie. But the naughty side to this nice fashion statement is that the Necktie isn’t just meant to be worn, it’s also meant to function as a sexy leash! The back of the neckhole portion of the tie unfolds to disperse pressure, and the tie is made out of a thick, sturdy fabric that will stand up to some tugging. It’s a sexy idea, and the Incoqnito Necktie is made to stand up to some sexy pulling without getting bent out of shape (though, again, it isn’t meant for more heavy play).

I do find, however, that the Necktie runs into some sizing issues: it tends to run pretty small. If you have a larger noggin, you might be subject to some unsexy struggling to get your head into it, even if you loosen it a bunch. And the length of the tie will probably be shorter than a normal, professional tie on most medium-height or tall people. For reference, I’m 5’7″ and found the tie to sit too high to pass as a real tie on myself. It would, of course, still function as a leash even if it wouldn’t be business-appropriate, and shorter people who find most ties too long will be pleased as punch with this!

Overall, the Incoqnito Necktie is a sexy idea, and is well-made for light domination fantasies. The biggest problem with this toy is that it may be too small (either in worn-length or to get it on over the head) for many people, and hardcore kinksters are warned to find something more heavy-duty for their more rigorous scenes.

View all my Babeland reviews.
Win a gorgeous glass sex toy from C.A.P. and Dr. Ruthie!

Get Stuck on the Octopussy Dildo

Nov 232010

It’s pink. It’s glass. It’s a tentacle. What more can I say? This little wonder is a surprisingly dynamic toy but at it’s heart it IS a pink, glass, tentacle dildo!

Toy: “Icicle” Octopussy Dildo (sent by Babeland.com for review)
Type: Hand-blown glass, tentacle-themed, textured, innie dildo
Manufacturer: Babeland
Material: Pyrex glass
Price: $50

Perfect for your undersea adventure fantasies

Sometimes you need just the right toy to build up the fantasy you want to play with during intimacy. This can particularly be the case if your fantasy is something a little less mainstream than penile penetration. Tentacle fantasies can be fairly common, and erotica relating to tentacles dates back as early as the early 19th century. If you’re intrigued by tentacles and are looking for a toy that might help those fantasies really come closer to life, the Octopussy Dildo (also known as the Icicle) may be just what you’re looking for.

The Octopussy is a 6-1/4″ long, 7/8″ wide dildo made of hand-blown Pyrex glass. It has a rosy quartz hue, a series of rounded bumps on the top, and vein-y ridges along the bottom edge. It also, thankfully, has a curved finger-loop on the smaller end to help control and hold the toy. Due to the curved loop end, only about 4-1/2″ of the toy are actually insertable. Finally, note that the toy isn’t perfectly circular, but rather is wider than it is tall, giving the insertable end a slightly flattened look.

Since the toy is made from glass, the Octopussy is a very firm toy. Also, glass gives the toy a unique slickness when it is lubed; the combination of the slippery smoothness of wet glass combined with the heavy texturing gives the toy a feeling unlike most others. This makes the finger-loop on the Octopussy a particularly important addition, as slick glass can be very difficult to keep a grip on. With the loop, however, the Octopussy is easy to control even when slick.

The glass nature of the toy also makes for interesting play possibilities. It can be immersed in cold or hot water to lower or raise its temperature to match your fantasies or just play with sensations. Also, the glass makes the Octopussy easy to clean, and it can even be boiled for sterilization. Pyrex is a pretty sturdy glass (as those of us who use Pyrex cookware know), but you’re still advised to be careful when using the toy near hard surfaces to avoid chipping.

Though the toy is clearly meant to be insertable, its nice texture lends itself well to being rubbed along the clitoris and labia when it’s slicked up. It could also be used for anal play, since the finger-loop provides a thick enough base that it is safe for anal use; however, it should be used very slowly and gently, since the glass has no give to it, and the heavy texturing may prove to be a bit much for some.

The only possible warnings or downsides about the Octopussy have been stated before. Namely, care needs to be taken when cleaning it, as dropping it in the sink and chipping it would mean that the entire toy needs to be tossed. And, again, the texture on the Octopussy is heavier than on many other toys, particularly since it’s made out of hard glass, and so those who are sensitive to texture may find it a bit overwhelming.

Overall, if you’re looking for something tentacle-related, or a glass toy that has lots of texture, the Octopussy may be just what you’re looking for to help it feel better down where it’s wetter.

View all my Babeland reviews.
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http://exploringintimacy.com/2010/11/14/groovychick/

Please, Sir (Book Review)

May 162010

It’s May 16th and that means it’s my turn to host the blog book tour for Please, Sir right here at my blog! In this case, you can most certainly judge a book by its cover. And thank goodness, because that is one sexy cover. Yes, Sir contains 22 lusciously kinky short stories of strong, sexy, sassy women who totally get off on submitting to the strong, dominant men in their lives who love to pleasure them. Sometimes it’s a one night stand. Sometimes it’s a long term relationship. Yes, there are a few dungeons, but the stories in this book go way beyond that in creativity. I was delightfully surprised by the range and diversity of these stories, as well as the form. Each is relatively short, beginning with enough background to give a bit of connection to main characters, progressing to intense moments of pleasure (including lots of orgasms and kink), and ending in a prompt yet satisfying wrap-up.

True, there are a few stories that I liked less than the rest, but that’s bound to happen in any compilation since you just can’t please everyone all of the time. Of course, as an educator I would have also liked the editor to have skipped any stories in which spit passes for vulvic lube and spit or her vulvic juices pass for anal lube. Please, can we retire that convention? I make a lot of money on it as an educator from folks who struggle to try and make that work, but I would gladly give up that income for a better informed public that doesn’t suffer from so much chafing. But I was thrilled that some of them included lube, and even the sexy use of condoms! And in the end, it’s a fantasy book not meant for education, right?

This was an enjoyable compilation and I look forward to seeing what else I can dive into from her collections. I see from Amazon that the editor is coming out with a book featuring submissive men and dominant women soon, so you can bet I’ll be the first in line for that one!

Check it out on Amazon.com
And on the official blog

And don’t forget to Enter this month’s contest for a surprise premium toy set (it’s a really exciting one) AND a free full session in my online office!

Your 2009 Top Three Last Minute Gifts

Dec 182009

It’s Friday, December 18th, and that means you have less than one week before Christmas, yet you still need that perfectly caring, sexy, and unexpected gift from the heart. It’s too late to order the toy of the moment without paying for speedy shipping, my procrastinating Romeo. Fear not! Dr. Ruthie is here with a new annual tradition: Your Guide to the Three Hottest Last Minute Gifts. Subscriptions and gift cards were once relegated to officemates, grown kids that don’t call home, and awkward holiday gift exchanges. Now, they’re a hot gift item for loved ones, but only if you pick them with care and sincerity. Consider this list, and pick the ones that will make your sweetheart’s cheeks glow (either set).

#1 – KinkAcademy.com

This site is a gem, and a subscription is the perfect couple’s gift for the romance with zing. Subscribers have access to tasteful, educational videos from some of the top experts across the continent. Learn how to finger your lover’s rear, tips for better kissing, suggestions for opening your relationship or exactly how to make your honey melt with that flogger that’s been hanging in the closet all year. Heck, you can even learn to make your own sex toys so you won’t be in such a rush for next year’s gift ideas! These videos gently and patiently show you how to do the kinky things you’ve been dreaming of more clearly than a book can. Videos are categorized for beginners, intermediate, and advanced. Many feature demos in which educators show you how on real people; others feature appropriate props or discussion. It’s queer- friendly, and professionally produced, too. As professional sexuality educator, I have high standards for a site like this and KinkAcademy.com goes above and beyond. Gift tip: Personalize this one by creating a handmade gift certificate, along with a coupon book for activities that your lover would most like to try – inspired by these educational videos.

#2 – BeautifulAgony.com

Perhaps your lover’s style is more subtle, less kinky, but still very intimate and steamy. Check out BeautifulAgony.com for a delicious subscription to real videos of real people masturbating. What’s special about that? This site focuses solely on their faces. BeatuifulAgony has been around for a few years now, and continues to excite with images of gorgeous amateurs. Thankfully, they’ve been featuring a wider range of body types, genders and even ages lately too. This site is a powerful reminder to slow down and enjoy our partners’ experience of pleasure. Gift Tip: Give this one to your lover with a note inviting them to create their own video with you, either to keep private or to share with the site.

#3 – Scarleteen.com

So, you and your partner like to spend the holiday volunteering, and the hottest thing you can give each other is the promise of a better tomorrow. Spread the love by helping our youth to receive the highest quality sexuality education through Scarleteen.com. They’ve been around over a decade and helped at least a million people, not including all of the friends-of-friends that get solid info traced back to Scarleteen! This year, they’ve rolled out an amazing service in which young adults can receive solid info through text messages. Clearly, a donation to Scarleteen goes a long way toward showing your sweetie that your love has no limits. Gift Tip: Have other friends who are similarly inclined? Go in together on a larger, anonymous donation.