Jul 032011

The card states: I don't know how to masturbate.

First thing every Sunday morning I bumble over to my laptop and check out the newest PostSecret pieces.  They often give me pause to think, and sometimes they make go hug someone as soon as possible.  But this one is making me obsess a bit.  On the front it bares the text “I don’t know how to masturbate.”  According to the PostSecret URL (which often has extra information), the back asks if anyone else has the problem.   I wish I had a way to contact the person who submitted this question and tell them yes. No matter your gender, sexuality, or anatomy… yes.  Many, many folks have the same problem.  Even better than not being alone is the news that there are many wonderful resources to help you learn how, when and if you want to.  Patient, kind, caring sexual well-being educators who don’t judge in the least are reading your card and hoping that you’ll contact them.  I know I am.  We each deserve to enjoy our sexual energy and pleasure, regardless of our past experiences (or lack of experience).  Am I right or am I right?!

Information on how to masturbate, from Scarleteen.

Betty Dodson writes about masturbation on her blog and has affordable ebooks on how to orgasm, not to mention some very fine DVDs on the topic.  She also offers sex coaching.



Dec 182009

It’s Friday, December 18th, and that means you have less than one week before Christmas, yet you still need that perfectly caring, sexy, and unexpected gift from the heart.  It’s too late to order the toy of the moment without paying for speedy shipping, my procrastinating Romeo.  Fear not!  Dr. Ruthie is here with a new annual tradition: Your Guide to the Three Hottest Last Minute Gifts.  Subscriptions and gift cards were once relegated to officemates, grown kids that don’t call home, and awkward holiday gift exchanges.  Now, they’re a hot gift item for loved ones, but only if you pick them with care and sincerity.  Consider this list, and pick the ones that will make your sweetheart’s cheeks glow (either set).

#1 – KinkAcademy.com

This site is a gem, and a subscription is the perfect couple’s gift for the romance with zing.  Subscribers have access to tasteful, educational videos from some of the top experts across the continent.  Learn how to finger your lover’s rear, tips for better kissing, suggestions for opening your relationship or exactly how to make your honey melt with that flogger that’s been hanging in the closet all year.  Heck, you can even learn to make your own sex toys so you won’t be in such a rush for next year’s gift ideas! These videos gently and patiently show you how to do the kinky things you’ve been dreaming of more clearly than a book can.  Videos are categorized for beginners, intermediate, and advanced.  Many feature demos in which educators show you how on real people; others feature appropriate props or discussion. It’s queer- friendly, and professionally produced, too.  As professional sexuality educator, I have high standards for a site like this and KinkAcademy.com goes above and beyond.  Gift tip: Personalize this one by creating a handmade gift certificate, along with a coupon book for activities that your lover would most like to try – inspired by these educational videos.

#2 – BeautifulAgony.com

Perhaps your lover’s style is more subtle, less kinky, but still very intimate and steamy.  Check out BeautifulAgony.com for a delicious subscription to real videos of real people masturbating.  What’s special about that?  This site focuses solely on their faces.  BeatuifulAgony has been around for a few years now, and continues to excite with images of gorgeous amateurs.  Thankfully, they’ve been featuring a wider range of body types, genders and even ages lately too.  This site is a powerful reminder to slow down and enjoy our partners’ experience of pleasure.  Gift Tip: Give this one to your lover with a note inviting them to create their own video with you, either to keep private or to share with the site.

#3 – Scarleteen.com

So, you and your partner like to spend the holiday volunteering, and the hottest thing you can give each other is the promise of a better tomorrow.  Spread the love by helping our youth to receive the highest quality sexuality education through Scarleteen.com.  They’ve been around over a decade and helped at least a million people, not including all of the friends-of-friends that get solid info traced back to Scarleteen!  This year, they’ve rolled out an amazing service in which young adults can receive solid info through text messages.  Clearly, a donation to Scarleteen goes a long way toward showing your sweetie that your love has no limits. Gift Tip: Have other friends who are similarly inclined?  Go in together on a larger, anonymous donation.

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Aug 142008

I have a new hero.  Ernest Borgnine, the celebrated actor, is 91 years old.  He doesn’t eat meat, he is clearly in great sprits, and he looks fantastic for any age.   During an interview with Fox & Friends they ask him for his secret to longevity.  He is demure at first, saying he doesn’t dare answer, then issues a whisper heard round the net.  “I masturbate a lot.”  There is a dirty joke about the fountain of youth in here somewhere.  At the end of the clip Ernest starts to say “Yesterday..” but is cut off.  Darn it, I want to hear his masturbation story about yesterday!

Watch the video to get it from his lips to your ears, and watch the cast go crazy.

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